she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
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