i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
