Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize