just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
