Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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