forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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