I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
