There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
