how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
