My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
