Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
