Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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