Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
