i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
