if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
So drunk its hurt
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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