I didn't shave. On purpose
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
soo... how was my night?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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