i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Randomize
