You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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