Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
