Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
