Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
