Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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