Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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