he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
