So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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