I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
