I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
