I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
