were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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