You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
