Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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