We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
