zippers are such a cool invention
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
