Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
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