I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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