i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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