That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
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