I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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