new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
