we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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