i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
