I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
