he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
