porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
