he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
