also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
