shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
