i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Sober January is a disaster.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
