My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
