2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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