i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize