I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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