i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
