I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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