The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
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I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
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If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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