is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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