Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
