i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
