There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
