It was confusing and full of hummus
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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