I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
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