I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
