What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
my poor anus
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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